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Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh! Hey guys. I was just uh…just resting my eyes. But um, seriously? I am so tired right now. I’m going to make this really quick. After ten hours at work, I went to the gym and then came home. I got a wild hare to cook dinner. (I know right?!) While, my cooking is no magnificent feat, I thought it might be nice. The husband has been working even longer hours than me. I thought he might like a break from dinner duty.

But yeah. Basically back-to-School kicked my butt today. BTS is the worst because they always wait until the last-ass minute to send all of the merchandise, and it always comes about a week later than it should. Had it arrived last week, it could have been quickly processed and I could be out of the floor this week hustling it. Instead, I have to do to both of those things all at once, and I feel like neither gets done as well as it should.

 

I don’t really feel like talking about my outfit today. I was in a hurry and it turned out so very boring. I’m just going to give you storytime from my day instead.

So, I’m in need to do some hiring. In my time at my store, I’ve been blessed with extremely low turnover. But now I’m at that awkward time of the year where I’m between leaving and returning students and lo and behold, it’s when I could really use extra help. So I’ve been doing a lot of collecting of applications and sadly rejecting them. The application process can be really amusing. Here are some things not to do when applying for jobs:

*Asking to borrow a pen to fill out the application. If you didn’t come prepared, keep it your own little secret and go get one somewhere else in the mall.
*Girls who come in in groups and pick up their applications together. I don‘t know why. It just bugs me. It shows a lack of confidence.
*Being rude when you ask for the application (Ps and Qs children. Mind them.)
*Being stupid when you ask for an application. I once watched a girl wander aimlessly around the store, and when I greeted her and asked her if she needed help finding anything she said, “oh I was just looking for an application.” Where? Sandwiched between the jeans?
*Filling out an application with your child in tow, while your child destroys my jewelry display
*Turning in apps while still you’re still in your grungy clothes. Is this how you dress normally? Or did you just come from the gym and decide to job hunt as an afterthought?

We used to keep all of our applications in a binder with little sticky notes, (“No”, “HELL no”, “Shy but maybe”, “Has a freaky-ass tattoo and a muffin top”) so that I wouldn’t waste my time on poor candidates. But given that our application is 5 pages long, I got sick of wasting the paper on people that I knew I would never consider. Which is when I discovered the short form application. We now screen applicants by only handing out the long version to people who seem to have potential. It’s not as entertaining as the sticky notes, but it does save time and trees.

Anomalies I find on applications:
*“GED in Progress.” Yes, I realize that the GED has various sections, therefore making it technically feasible. But still. I’d rather have someone “pad” their resume by just saying they have the damn thing.
*Girls Scouts does not count as work experience
*If you really want the job, you should probably list your complete contact information. It’s how I get in touch to set up an interview. Oh well. Nothing says can’t follow through like giving a six digit phone number.
*Reasons for leaving: “Voluntary termination” (You agreed to be fired? Wait, what?) “Life” (Damn. I hate when that happens), “I had a baby 🙂 🙂 :)” (Gag me. “Maternity Leave“ would have sufficed.)
*All you previous experience is babysitting. That’s fine. What’s not fine? You don’t have contact information for any of them, and no dates for employment. Soooo basically, you haven’t had a job since you were 11?
*All of your references have the same last name as you. Do people still think this is okay? Even high school kids taking a life skills course know better.

Capiche? Okay. Lesson over. The end.

Pink Button Down – Gap
Skirt – Roxy
Necklace – The Icing
Shoes – Wal-Mart

Title courtesy of  Ernie Ford – “Sixteen Tons”

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